Titty Tuesday: Bad Time For Sex

This is the second week in a row I've tried to post this. Last week, I had it all written out, and I took a ton of screenshots from my DVD to post along with it, only to find they were all BLANK. My computer was moving really slowly, it was 1AM, and I didn't have the patience to mess with it any longer, so I gave up, thinking I would do it this week, with a different program. THIS week - I can't find the DVD anywhere. ANYWHERE. And any of the videos I've found of that scene online are boob-free, and it's not on netflix instant play. The universe does not seem to want us to see LaVerne's breasts. I'm posting the rest of it anyway. So, I apologize in advance for the lack of actual titties in this post, I apologize for the poor quality of the screenshots I DO have, and I will endeavor to do better with next week's Titty Tuesday. Go out and buy a copy of Creepshow 2 and watch it yourself, it's a good flick with some nice boobage. -Spooki

It's somewhat serendipitous that Creepshow 2 showed up in my DVD player unexpectedly last week (as mentioned in my last post). After I announced Titty Tuesdays the other day, I was thinking about various scenes that made an impression on my youthful mind, and one of the first ones I thought of was The Raft.

The Raft terrified me back when I first saw it. I was always a huge fan of Creepshow, and while I didn't think most of Creepshow 2 held up as well (I still loved it, just not as much as the first one), Creepshow 2's The Raft scared me almost as much as the original Creepshow's The Crate had. The whole concept of the man-eating oil slick and the people trapped in the middle of nowhere, exposed to the elements, gave me chills; but the scene that really got me was the one appropriately titled "Bad Time For Sex" on the DVD chapter menu.

The tale of The Raft is simple: two couples go out to a lake in the early fall; tourist season is over, it's deserted, but it hasn't yet gotten cold enough for them to bring the wooden raft in from the middle of the lake. The (supposedly-college-age-even-though-they-easily-look-thirty) kids decide to swim out to the lake for one last hurrah. They get there, only to get trapped on the raft by one big piece of meat-eating sludge. It eats a duck, then it eats Randy's girlfriend, then it eats LaVerne's boyfriend. Randy and LaVerne are trapped on the raft, and they agree to sleep in shifts, taking turns watching the troublesome predator, as it has already proven it can ooze up between the slats of the raft and suck them through if they're not careful.

It comes to pass that LaVerne is sleeping and Randy is dutifully taking his turn watching the oil slick. Eventually he gets bored at the prospect of being eaten alive, and can't help but notice that LaVerne is passed out and not wearing a whole heck of a lot. Ever the gentleman, he slooooowly makes his move on the slumbering woman, easing her sweatshirt up, up, up, until he can see and yes, even play with her boobies just a little. [INSERT MANY SHOTS OF HORROR TITTIES!]

But Randy loses his nerve as she starts to show signs of wakefulness and quickly pulls her shirt down, covering her back up. He's all ready to whistle and look totally innocent if she so much as glances his way.

Oh, but Randy won't be getting the ol' "you were touching me while I was sleeping, weren't you, pervert?!" lecture today! LaVerne has bigger things on her mind.

what IS that?

Namely, THE MAN-EATING OIL SLICK. It evidently noticed that Randy was preoccupied and took that time to sneak under the raft and firmly attach itself to his rape victim friend's face.

oh dear GOD

IT'S EATING ME RANDEEEEEE

As it continues to pour over her body and begins dissolving her flesh, she holds her hands out to him in supplication, screaming. "Randy! Raaaannddeeeeeee! What the fuck were you thinking, Randy?! You were thinking with your dick, you rapist bastard, and now this thing is EATING ME RANDEEEE!"
(OK, she actually just screams his name repeatedly in disbelief and pain, but I like to add in the other parts because it makes me feel better.)
He just stands there looking stupid.

this is the face of a date rapist

well, she used to have nice tits...

LaVerne's titties are soon consumed, and though we are treated to a nicely horrific semi-skeletal show of her, the titties remain covered. And Randy's fate? Well, you'll have to check out the movie to find out!

Coming Soon: Titties, Titties, Ass and Titties! And Wang.

So I was in the shower and I was thinking about tits. (That's pretty much how every blog post ever written should start from now on, in my opinion.) Specifically, tits in horror movies. They're pretty much a staple. Oh, I know that it doesn't float everyone's boat, and you've got your folks that wish there was LESS T&A in horror films, or that think maybe a 'smart' horror film doesn't NEED tits, but me? I love some horror movie boobie action. One of my top horror movie scenes ever involves my favorite Scream Queen, her tits, and a tube of lipstick (bonus points if you can Name That Film!).

It also occurred to me that, while I can easily start naming off horror movies with ample breastitude, I can't readily recall films with abundant wang, or even much wang at all. I love some T&A as much as the next person, but where's the D&A?? (dicks & ass; W&A doesn't quite have the same ring to it.)

Maybe someone else on the internet is already cataloguing these things, and a quick google search would give me all the horror T&A and D&A I could possibly want. (Though I suspect googling anything involving tits, asses, wangs or dicks will bring me to precisely the kind of sites that would be more suitable for my other blog.)

See, I Googled 'horror wang' images and this is what I got: A VAMPIRE FLESHLIGHT.

Maybe it's out there. I didn't look, because I like to pretend I'm the first person on the planet to have brilliant ideas. What brilliant idea, you may ask?

Why, some new features for the blog, of course! Titty Tuesday, for one. Wang Wednesday, for another. And, a propos of nothing, some sort of day where I feature awesome movie quotes. My thinking being that I will catalog titties, ass, wang, and awesome movie quotes as I encounter them during the week, and when the appropriate day comes, I will share them with you, my devoted blog readers. (I'm pretty sure that's only my husband at this point, but I know that if I post them, They Will Come. 'They' might only be perverts and weirdos, but hey, I'll be with my own kind at least.)

This is a nearly-accurate representation of how my husband and I met. It even looks like us.

And if I have a dry week where I don't encounter such things (SAD PANDA), I'll have to plumb the recesses of my perverted mind and post some old favorites. Or maybe I'll share some reader favorites from time to time.

So, reader homework!

1) What are your favorite titty (or female ass) scenes in horror media? (movies, tv, books, whatever, I won't discriminate)

2) What are your favorite wang (or male ass) scenes in horror media?

3) What day should I do 'awesome horror quotes I have encountered this week', and what should I call it? I like things that have a nice ring to them, and there's no Q day of the week. Quote Quaturday just isn't doing it.